// ==============================================
// Copyright 2004 by CodeLifter.com
// Free for all; but please leave in this header.
// ==============================================

var frontQuotation=new Array() // do not change this!

// Set up the frontQuotations to be shown, below.
// To add more frontQuotations, continue with the
// pattern, adding to the array.  Remember
// to increment the frontQuotation[x] index!

frontQuotation[0] = "Riley's Carpentry, now in Technicolour!";
frontQuotation[1] = "What, you want Decking? Yeah, we can do that.";
frontQuotation[2] = "Act now, and we'll build something for you. At a reasonable price!";
frontQuotation[3] = "Enjoy your visit!";
frontQuotation[4] = "if you've had cowboys, then call the cavalry in! (That would be us)";
frontQuotation[5] = "Tea goes a long way in getting your pool built.";
frontQuotation[6] = "Yeah, that's my bad. I used 3/4 Inch screws when I should of used a hammer.";
frontQuotation[7] = "Yeah, I can knock that wall through, but you'll lose the side of your house if I do.";
frontQuotation[8] = "Malcolm Riley, yep *the* Malcolm Riley.<br /> No, I do not know you.";
frontQuotation[9] = "I heard this website was funny. But there isn't even a single joke on here!";
frontQuotation[10] = "If your kettle doesn't work, we <b>will</b> fix it.";
frontQuotation[11] = "Don't forget to buy your warranty! (and put the kettle on).";

// ======================================
// Do not change anything below this line
// ======================================
var Q = frontQuotation.length;
var whichfrontQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));
function showfrontQuotation(){document.write(frontQuotation[whichfrontQuotation]);}
//showfrontQuotation();


// ==============================================
// Copyright 2004 by CodeLifter.com
// Free for all; but please leave in this header.
// ==============================================

var Quotation=new Array() // do not change this!

// Set up the quotations to be shown, below.
// To add more quotations, continue with the
// pattern, adding to the array.  Remember
// to increment the Quotation[x] index!

Quotation[0] = "Remember to clamp your wood. Sanding without a clamp can get messy.";
Quotation[1] = "...and so then I said \"ATTENTION ROOFERS!\" Man, you should've been there!";
Quotation[2] = "I prefer DeWalt over Bosch, for the simple reason that I don't like the way \"Bosch\" rolls off my man-tongue.";
Quotation[3] = "One time, at builders camp. I built a whole cupboard in pine, before someone said we were making lunch.";
Quotation[4] = "Women do not belong on the worksite. I have a difficult enough time as it is not staring at the guys.";
Quotation[5] = "If all the leaves are brown, what's going on with my salad?";
Quotation[6] = "Roof's are so cool they're hot. Well at least they are before we insulate the house and stop the heat escaping.";
Quotation[7] = "Hey, why do those builders get a helicopter and all we get is a stick of TNT and a Coyote?";
Quotation[8] = "If you don't get on with that tongue and grooving, the next thing I'll build will be an Iron Maiden.";
Quotation[9] = "When your work speaks for itself, you missed a bit.";
Quotation[10] = "I hate painting. It makes me feel like less of a burly builder when I get the brushes out and pirouette them across the wall. Maybe I should just take off the tutu...";
Quotation[11] = "Lo, and our lord Norman of the Abram's did sayeth: \"Be sure to read, understand, and follow all the safety rules that come with your power tools. Knowing how to use your power tools properly will greatly reduce the risk of personal injury.\"";
Quotation[12] = "Umm, is the drywall supposed to be this wet?";
Quotation[13] = "My father said, never work with Children or Animals. So get this flippin' Puppy out of here before it shows us up!";
Quotation[14] = "No, I'm German. And how did you know my name was Wälter?";
Quotation[15] = "That's the <b>LAST</b> time we do a job in Wales.";
Quotation[16] = "Yeah, might be mine. Actually no, it's yours. I don't like Custard Creams.";
Quotation[17] = "Oy vey, I'm the rabbi!";

// ======================================
// Do not change anything below this line
// ======================================
var Q = Quotation.length;
var whichQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));
function showQuotation(){document.write(Quotation[whichQuotation]);}
//showQuotation();